That Single Misfortune
by Rivi Laurant
Summary: The older sister struggling for her and her sister's life till the end... But, nothing went well anyway, so what should she do? Even if her sister reached paradise... will she be able to forgive?


_It all started there. Everything started there. All the misfortunes that came to me, it all started because of that single misfortune. The thing that happened because of something that even until now I can't figure out what. Why? Why did that happen? If something like that never happened, my life, our life, wouldn't be so messed up like what it is now._

_It's because of that single misfortune._

My sister was born. She was a very lovely girl. Very beautiful, and very gentle. Everyone should have thought she's a holy child sent by God. Everyone was supposed to love her. But no one did. Why? Couldn't their eyes see? Were they blind? They couldn't see her blossoming like the most beautiful flower, shining like the brightest star. Why? Even me, being her older sister, couldn't understand why.

Time went by. She was grown into a very beautiful woman. Every time, when she passes a group of people, the men would always turn their gaze to her and amazed by her beauty. The women would look at her with envy. Even I was pretty jealous at her. Whenever I walked the road with my sister, everyone will look in amazement at her, and then they turned to look at me, her ugly older sister, and start showing pitying eyes. I hate them. But unfortunately, I hated my sister more than them.

I hated her. I was really jealous at her beauty. I really wanted her to be gone. I wanted her dead. That way, every woman would stop looking pitifully to me, every man would stop turning their gaze to her instead of me, and I would never need to feel jealous at her anymore. I wished her dead. I really meant it. I asked the Lord to just make her dead, to make her vanish from the very eyes of mine.

_It's because of that single misfortune._

Ah, my wishes seemed to be granted. I was glad, just as glad as the other women who glared enviously at my sister. However, it was only me who felt really guilty wishing her dead when seeing the girl lying powerlessly on her bed while having a really high fever. Actually... she was still my sister. No matter how much I tried to hate her, I just couldn't. I love my sister. She's the only sister I have, and is always very kind to everyone. I've got no reason to hate her.

"Forgive me, Lord! All my wishes were all fake!" I begged.

However, I didn't know if it was fate, or indeed my fault, it happened. My sister's illness was bit by bit going away from her. I was really glad, my wishes were still heard by the Lord. However, what a misfortune. I was really stupid until I didn't know what I was saying.

_"All my wishes were all fake!"_

Yeah. All fake. How stupid. I didn't realize that my wishes weren't only about wishing my sister dead, but also the wishes about living happily, and seeing misfortune as less as possible. They were all fake. So even if the Lord was considering on granting them, I had said that they were all fake. None of them would come true, and it was all because of my own stupidity. I cancelled to wish those wishes granted.

My mother got a serious illness. I and my sister had tried our best to look for any kind of medicine that will cure our mother's disease. Yet, nothing we found. Incurable, was what the other called my mother's disease. We could only wait until the disease go away.

_It's because of that single misfortune._

My mother passed away due to the illness she had on her. Before her death, she left few messages for me.

"Your little sister is different... So you, as the older sister, please take care of her..."

Different. I could get what my mother meant by that. My sister is different. Yes, she was pretty and very kind, yet there's something else about her. She is an angel who can't do anything. I knew from the day she was born that she couldn't do things that most people was able to do. For that, being her older sister, I had to help her. You might think she's useless. If so, then you're one of our enemies. No, she's not useless. She always tries to help. However, that's the best she can achieve. Too bad, nobody seemed to understand that.

Since my mother's death, everything changed. We had to live together, helping each other, doing our best to keep living, and to fight those enemies. Yes, the men in the village were very kind to us. However, the women were very cold to us. I tried my best to protect my sister because she couldn't do anything whenever the women in the village were bullying her. Why? Can't they understand? Why won't they leave my sister alone?

_It's because of that single misfortune._

A shocking news stroke the village. I didn't understand why, but my sister got pregnant the next day she went home. I was really angry, and couldn't control myself. I went outside the house and gathered all the men in the village. Unfortunately, when I asked who did that to my sister, the men only looked at each other, with no one speaking. One of the group of women said that last night my sister was with an unknown man. She kept saying that it was my sister who was asking the man.

_No! That can't be true! My sister won't understand about that! Why can't you understand? Stop blaming my sister! She's innocent!_

I lost control of myself. I hate them. Those words... they're hurting my ears! I couldn't bear it. I don't want it when everyone were blaming my sister, while she knew nothing about it. I wouldn't forgive them!

_It's because of that single misfortune._

I've lost it. I couldn't help it. I wanted to shut her mouth so badly. I will do anything necessary to shut the mouth of everyone who's against my sister, who's blaming my sister, who's torturing my sister. I wanted them dead. I wished them dead. Yet, my wishes didn't seem to be granted. Instead, what happened then was the most unfortunate thing I could imagine.

My weak little sister who can't do anything, who was pregnant at the time. While I was trying my best to protect her and her baby, so that they will keep living, the others were very cruel to her. They were blaming her as a dirty whore. They kept torturing her, without caring that as they torture her, her life was in danger.

I heard a sound of a slap on my sister's cheek. I can't hold it anymore. If the Lord wasn't going to grant my wish, then I will let it done by myself. Yes, without any hesitation, I grabbed the nearest knife to my hand and went for the woman who always tortured and mocked my sister. I stabbed her, right on her chest. This way, she'll stop. She'll stop torturing my sister, and stop those ear-hurting yellings. I smiled, I thought I've stopped the misfortunes to happen.

_It's because of that single misfortune._

The people of the village said that I have done the wrong thing. They said killing humans is an unforgivable doings. What? Then what about them? Even though it's slowly, they're killing my sister! Killing them was only the thing I did to protect my beloved sister. Hey! Let me go! I need to keep living to protect my sister! Hey!

Yes, all my wishes weren't granted. All my prayers, won't be heard. Yes, they were blind, they were deaf. They tied me to the cross, and prepared the fire that would burn the devil in front of them. The devil? I'm the devil now? Aren't you the ones who were the devil? Hey! Let me go!

The fire started burning my feet. I know I have no longer time to protect my sister. Yes, at the very last, I kept praying for my sister to keep living. I wished it so bad. If I am indeed the devil, let this fire burns my body. But at least, I want the angel, my sister, to fly to the sky with a smile.

_It's because of that single misfortune._

That's right. I failed to protect my sister. I should remember. The previous day, my sister had left this world. Yes, how could I forget? My brain didn't seem to be very clear at the time I guess, nor now. I don't think my brain's getting clearer, but at least I could remember her smile when she left me. Yes, she was very gentle. Very kind. She would forgive everyone.

"However, I will never forgive you!"

You, people in front of me, who were taking pleasures as seeing the "devil" got burned in front of your very eyes. I will never forgive you! Even if my sister forgave you, I will not. Unforgivable... You are the devils! I'm just one of them who wanted to punish the devils—No! That wasn't even the reason I became your enemy. You are my enemies! And I was only trying to protect my sister!

"You are the ones that should be burned to ashes!"

_.. even my last wish was..._


End file.
